Wake into a Dream
by Emerald Lilie
Summary: What would happen if Fanny was there when Tom woke up? A Tom and Fanny story.


A/N: Hi everyone! This is my first Jane Austen fic, so of course I chose Mansfield Park, the one with the least satisfactory ending (my opinion). I wrote this after reading several other fics and didn't check the book first so this takes place in winter not spring, and a few other little things are off, I reason this with Fanny not staying in Portsmouth until spring, but coming back to Mansfield in the winter while Tom was still feverish. Just to note, I don't like Edmund, never really have doubt I ever will, every time I read MP I keep hoping the ending will just magically change. The movies don't really change my opinion of him either, and the only MP movie I've ever liked is the '83 BBC version. This story is one of the changes I hope for. More notes at the end probably, just to not give everything away at the start.

As always I don't own Mansfield Park, except of course the book that sits on my shelf, please don't sue. Enjoy!

~ Wake into a Dream~

Tom woke from his fever, sweat pouring from his body. He didn't know why he was so relieved, but he was in his own room in Mansfield and that was a comfort in itself. He heard whispers by the door and through blurred vision he saw what must be his cousin directing a servant to a task, he knew he was dreaming then as he had never seen Fanny tell a servant to do anything. Tom closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep, just registering the cool cloth that had been placed on his head and a voice that held tired relief saying the fever had broke.

Two days later found Fanny spooning broth into Tom's mouth, he thought about this briefly trying to remember the last time he had spent this much time with his cousin despite living under the same roof. He questioned once what would become of his mother while she was nursing him, he then learned that another cousin, Susan, was come to Mansfield and was attending Lady Bertram. He was soon accustomed to his cousin again, perhaps for the first time. She fed him, she changed his sheets, she helped the servants in every conceivable way in his care, she read to him, and would quietly leave the room when his father came in and would only resign to the corner when his mother remembered him enough to make it to his room.

He was soon well enough to speak more than a few sentences at a time and started reconstructing the memories he had before waking up in Mansfield. Fanny wasn't too much help even though he had a feeling that she knew much more than she would ever say. He finally pieced enough together from his own memories and what hi father and brother would divulge to be even more grateful to be alive and feel the blessing of all who cared for him.

It was Edmund who told him of Maria and Julia when he had started to question why they had not been to see him. Aunt Norris had of course lamented Maria's absence, Tom was sick about it. The foolishness of his sister, and was glad when his aunt left him and he and Fanny were alone again. He recollected that Henry had been something of a suitor to Fanny and tried to give her something like sympathy on the subject, she merely said that he must be mistaken, she had never felt any such thing for Henry Crawford. Tom was relieved she was so strong through it, she rarely was. His displeasure at Julia wasn't so severe, he knew the situation of Yates and hoped they would be content with each other, no matter how rash they had been. Fanny smiled and nodded and hoped the best for her cousin as well. Tom smiled without thinking, knowing Fanny would always hope for the best for everyone, that was her nature.

Within a month of waking the doctor gave him permission to walk, not far and not long, but to be out of bed and to exercise again. He didn't want to lean on a servant all the time, as he was still weak and his brother was not always available, so he took to carrying a cane. Fanny had gone to the village and procured it for him without his knowledge and the first time he said he didn't with to lean on the servants and she presented it to him. It was just the right length and strength and he was impressed with her ability to anticipate his need.

Edmund was absent more and more from Mansfield, seeing to his own living, Tom reasoned it only natural as when Maria and Crawford gone off there was little hope for Edmund continuing a relationship with the sister. He felt for his brother, in all of his life he had never seen Edmund attach himself to anyone. He knew his brothers wife should be good and sweet tempered, be firm when needed and able to persuade him to be happy, Tom vowed to keep an eye out for any young woman such as that but thought it more likely Edmund would find someone at Thornton Lacey before he would even be able to journey so far as the village.

A few week later, with winter firmly in place at Mansfield, Tom had the pleasure of seeing his cousin moved into Marias old rooms. He had talked at length with his father wondering why Fanny still stayed in the Attic when there were perfectly good rooms below. He knew, as his father, that his sister was never to return to Mansfield, and cousin Susan had been placed in a family suite upon her arrival, it made no sense for Fanny to be so far away from her sister and the rest of the family. It was decided in an hour and the very next day Fanny had been moved, though she had protested it and sought to move as much of her own possessions as possible to make the servants work less. The clothes that Maria had left after her wedding had been removed and placed in trunks weeks before, small things remained though, the tray for her brush and comb, a jewelry box, some books that had never really been read and when Fanny entered her new rooms she hardly noticed these things in the amount of space that she reasoned she would never get used to. Tom laughed silently at his cousins' wonder and when Susan joined her he thought there no better sight as the felicity of sisters who truly cared for and enjoyed each other.

He was now able to walk the whole of the house on his own with his cane in hand, he rarely leaned on it anymore but he kept it with him should the need arise. The morning after the moving of his cousin he met Fanny and Susan at the stairs going down to breakfast and joined them. Fanny was in suck a glow and talked of the wonderful change in rooms. Tom was struck by it momentarily thinking of how long she had been in the attic and why had she been there in the first place. He was roused out of it by Fanny exclaiming that the view from the window was just as good as it faced the same side, she wasn't quite sure what she would of done waking up to a different aspect of Mansfield. They quieted at the foot of the stairs as Aunt Norris had just arrived, Tom thought it odd that she was here this early, surly she knew Mother wouldn't be up yet, but he was obligated to take her arm and lead into the breakfast room. She said nothing to Fanny or Susan, this was hardly out of place.

Sir Bertram was already at the table looking over the morning post when they came in, he was proud of the sight. His oldest recovering and showing no sign of longing for the life he lived before, his two nieces smiling and leaning into each other, living the better because of him, one already a favorite with a quiet strength and fortitude, the other fast learning, her liveliness pleasing Lady Bertram and as such him, he would keep an eye on it, he would not have another girl raised in this house cause pain to it. He had humor for Mrs. Norris today and let them take their places as he continued with the mail. It was sometime before he realized he was being appealed to, having divested his full attention to a letter about some property that may be suitable should the need arise and by all intel it seemed inevitable at this point. It was Mrs. Norris and she was trying to get Fanny moved back to the attic. What nonsense was this, they had postponed all servants duties to get Fanny moved as quickly as possible the previous day and now she was suppose to move back? Why? Of course Julia's room was still Julia's, she was welcome back so long as she stayed married and nothing indecent happened. This was not a conversation for the breakfast table, despite Susan's normal liveliness her head was now down and her face red. Fanny sat silent, used to Aunt Norris by now, hurting no less than it ever had. Tom interjected, saying it unusual to have a grown family member stay in the attic, and it began to dawn on him how it had happened the first time. He could see his mother being persuaded and his father not wanting a fight, thinking they had done their best, but those times were past now, the Bertram family was changed forever, nothing would ever be the same again, there was no going back and correcting the errors, but if it could be attended to now and helped, it would be.

So Fanny was moved into her new room and there she would stay. Mrs. Norris then did the thing she knew she shouldn't, she just couldn't help herself really, she asked where Maria would stay when she returned home. The table was quiet, every eye turning from Mrs. Norris to Sir Bertram. He compose himself and did not raise his voice, nor did he speak in a whisper, it was with the very slightest emotion that he informed his wife's sister that this was not Maria's home and she would never return to it. Mrs. Norris remained silent for the remainder of breakfast and seeing as her sister wasn't up when it was over she excused herself and went home. No one talked of what had happened, it had been a lingering question in Fanny's mind as well but knew better than to speak it. She felt a sadness for her cousin, but knew that she had made her own choices in life, and we must all live with our own choices.

It had been almost a full fortnight since anyone at the house had seen Edmund, his mother had just started to mention him when he walked into the parlor. Susan was attending to Lady Bertram's needs while his father had conceded to his wife's request to stay in the room he was on the other side of it going over contracts and deeds. When Edmund enquired about his brother and cousin he was told they had gone for a walk around the house as was their custom since Tom could leave his bed. Edmund knew there had been times when Fanny walked with Tom for her own exercise, but he had no idea it had been so regular, and now that Tom was so well Edmund was worried he would over exert Fanny, leaving her exhausted and weak in some far corner of the house. Edmund would find them without delay and make sure that Tom was not ill using Fanny's kindness. He searched the rooms on the first floor first, feeling he must just be missing them, he then ventured upstairs looking in open doors and checking Tom and Fanny's rooms. He then went up another flight of stairs to the old nursery and school room thinking that he must of just missed them below when he heard Fanny's soft voice coming from the old school room. He was confused, he had never know Tom to enter what Edmund had always thought of as Fanny's space. Toms deep laughter came through the door, Edmund didn't know why he paused, why he felt worried, why had he rushed around the house looking for his brother and cousin, why her soft voice and his deep laugh should cause him such a concern.

He walked closer and saw that the door wasn't completely closed, he nudged it open and saw Fanny sitting by the small fire reading aloud and Tom leaned back in a chair with his feet across a table looking at and listening to her. Neither noticed his presence until he made himself known, even then there was no change in their positions, this was normal for them and they had no shame or guilt being a grown man and woman alone together, even if they were family. Edmund wondered how long Tom had been coming here, Fanny letting him. How long had Fanny been reading aloud to him alone, it was a wonder to him. Tom insisted he join them pointing to another chair not far away. A tea tray was on a small table by the fire and Fanny poured him a cup. They tended to end their walk here and Fanny had read to him everyday while sick, it seemed natural to continue and Fanny was an excellent reader, having emotion at just the right moments.

Edmund listened to the end of the chapter and walked with them both back to the parlor, Fanny on Tom's arm. Edmund walked behind trying to understand this change in his cousin, his brother, he tried to recall the last time he had seen them like this. The winter ball when they danced together perhaps, it seemed so long ago, so many friendships and acquaintances ago, and his mind went to that dark corner that he had been trying to get rid of at Thornton Lacey. He was so in himself that he didn't notice when the others left him at the stairs and went into the parlor on their own. He was roused from his memories by his aunt, who had just come and seemed very excited and clutched a letter to her chest.

She went to her sister on the couch, barely able to contain herself. She had a letter, a letter from Maria, she was apologetic and alone. She had seen the error of her ways and was now alone, she wished to come home. Lady Bertram was silent, it was a thing her husband had told her would happen, even still her daughter had been married, married well, and had left her husband for another man, a man who would of made and excellent husband for Fanny, dear Fanny who had always been so obedient and loyal and now without a suitor of respect. It was no use anyways, Fanny had already moved into Maria's old rooms. She said that much at least to her sister. Mrs. Norris paled and was silent, she suggested Fanny move back into the attic. It was Tom who informed her that no such thing would be happening. It was Sir Bertram who reminded his sister that this was no longer Maria's home, she was not to return to Mansfield or even the country. He had property that if she wished she could go to.

Away from the family, away from society, a very small living would be given to her, enough to live on, she would have to budget. He set Mrs. Norris to the task of seeing it through, he would not receive Maria, not even in letter. She sat and glared at Fanny and Susan, who were these girls to occupy such a place, they were nothing but poor relations. She would go to Maria and love her as she should be loved. Sir Thomas thought it a pleasant idea, she to handle the matter on one side, he on the other, that would work well. There being nothing else for her to do she gathered herself up and left, wishing her nieces all the best at their new station in life. Susan almost giggled but recognizing the sober faces of everyone else checked herself. She felt the blessing of her aunt leaving so soon after their meeting. Lady Bertram wondered briefly what she would do without her sister, but Susan was spooning sugar and milk into her tea and gathering together the embroidery from yesterday, and she thought it may be alright after all, just as her husband said it would.

Edmund talked with his father at some length, about Thornton Lacey and Maria, about how Doctor Grant ask that he look over the Mansfield living while he accompanied his wife to her sister, suggesting it may be a long trip. Sir Thomas and Doctor Grant had had a similar conversation the previous week, with Doctor Grant suggesting that is would be wise to start looking for someone for the living. Sir Thomas kept that to himself for the moment, hoping that his own son would soon hold the place. He would speak with Tom first though, if he was to be a proper heir it was time for him to start taking on some of the responsibilities of Mansfield.

Edmund watched Fanny for a moment, she was on the couch next to her aunt working on her own stitching, she seemed the same, no worse for her aunt Norris' words or the walk of the morning. Tom called his attention asking if he would be staying for luncheon, as he had nothing immediately pressing he agreed to it but he must be back at Thornton Lacey for dinner, he had an invitation to a small dinner group. An occasion for the old and young to be together. Tom's interest was aroused but thought it best to not venture into the conversation with the ladies present, he also thought it best to be subtle with his brother on the matter of trying to find him a wife.

After dinner and the ladies had adjourned to the parlor Sir Thomas spoke to his eldest about his intentions for the future of Mansfield and himself. Tom had been giving this very subject much intentional thought as of late and told his father as much. That he thought it a well thing that the Grants were gone from the neighborhood and if there was anything they could do to secure them elsewhere a thought to consider. He also had intention of his brother having the place and thought all the time he could spend in the society of Thornton Lacey all the better for the living. He of course assured his father of not trying to push his brother into an imprudent match, but did feel that now that Edmund had had his first encounter with love it would not be long for him to start looking about him for someone to give all of the emotion he had that he didn't even know he possessed until recently. Sir Thomas couldn't help but agree with his son and thought Edmunds long absences from Mansfield might lead to a happy end after all. He of course took note that he was focusing on his second son instead of his heir, the one who more so needed the wife and broached the subject. Tom almost laughed, in his concern for his brother and sisters he had neglected to tell his father his intentions on that matter. He had decided it at the end of one of his and Fanny's walks early into his recovery, when he still had to lean on the cane for support.

They had arrived at the old school room when Fanny had expressed a wish to recover a few books she had left in there. She insisted he not strain himself on her account but it was just the most charming room and told him so much more about his cousin than she likely ever would. He thought himself slightly tired and insist Fanny get a servant to light the grate, he had hardly known at the time that this was a thing months before she never even thought to do, but she would not have him uncomfortable. Her sweetness in asking the servants had quickly won them to do as she wished as quickly as possible, there being a silent wish between the unseen members of the house and their wish for the future. She had suggested that a footman help him at first, but he was so reviled by the thought she never mentioned it again, he insisted in sitting by the fire and to talk and if their was nothing to talk on for her to read to him as she did for mother. He soon found they had much to talk on, her resolve on quite serious matters that he had barely given but the very smallest necessary bit of thought to, she was quite unmovable on. Her taste in literature was pleasing to him. He talked about his plans for Mansfield and found one who loved it as he did, perhaps more so, for his love was solidified though almost losing it, she had been a fearful girl taken from her parents and siblings and given to stranger, but it had become the most secure thing in her life. Her brother at sea, her cousins married and departed, but the shock had been Tom himself, almost losing the natural heir, it was a horrid thing when he was ill. Tom had never heard anyone express such a thing before. That he was inseparable from Mansfield and how she loved Mansfield. Tom also began to think of Fanny being inseparable from Mansfield, she had been away for a short time and the world of Mansfield had changed so drastically in that time, without her strength and resolve the house, the family had almost fallen completely. Marias sins were something that would leave a mark for a long time, but Fanny was here and it would heal and fade with time.

Tom began to think of what would of happened had Fanny left for good, would he even be alive at that moment without her. He decided that Fanny never leave Mansfield and if she should go anywhere for any amount of time that he be with her. It was resolved and settled within him, it was his plan, he so comfortable with it had simply forgotten to tell anyone about it and proceeded to concern himself with matters unresolved. And everyday on their walk he loved her more and tried to understand her more to be able to show his love in better and obvious but not overcoming ways. He thought maybe she felt the same, she smiled at him while she read and if she thought he gazed too long at her she blushed. She was never shy on the subject of Mansfield and he knew she would make an excellent partner in its running. She looked for him, he knew, when he was out of a room they had gathered in, it warmed him when she smiled at his arrival.

Sir Thomas was interested in anything that may have been expressed so far, Tom conceding again that he had taken it as a surety, that nothing had been exchanged in confession or declaration. Sir Thomas would not divulge his thought of some months ago, not now, but did inform his son that he saw nothing wrong with the match, there being very little to object about in light of his daughters recent actions, that he move forward almost immediately. When they entered the parlor he did see Fanny glow and smile at their arrival and delighted in her and Tom detaching from them to look at the constellations in the clear night sky. It was a night that he received encouragement from and hoped that tomorrow they would share wine in celebration.

It was a conversation that almost mirrored another Fanny thought, although over a year prior and with a different partner. Tom exclaiming on the light from the stars being brighter and clearer than that from any candle. Fanny allowed herself to wonder where that girl had gone, the one so in love with her cousin that she could allow for no concession in any part of her life, feeling that she was betraying those who had taken her in and provided for her, fearing it would all be taken from her, it almost had been. She had been jealous she admitted to herself alone. She allowed, when she thought hope had finally been lost, to begin to think of another, not greatly or with any hope or thought for future, but more to think of being thought of. It had been a changing point in her, to allow for another. When everything shattered it made her think of herself and her place, where she truly desired to be and more than any mortal desire she desired Mansfield and all that it was.

To come home to one sick cousin and one forlorn, she focused her energy into the future of her home, feeling sympathy for the other, and as his absences increased, pity. She knew he was not the man she had loved, he had been weak and conceding in love, too forgiving of moral not shaped or strong, too eager to see her with another. It had been that, knowing he hid not love her as she loved him that changed her, allowed her to love another, allowed her to bee thought of. She did not know when she began to love her eldest cousin, she would admit her vanity in it, when his eyes would shine at her she would look away and when she raised her head he was still looking at her. He asked her about herself, her dislike for plays and took his admonishment well when she informed him that she could dislike no play of taste and greatness, what had been attempted in this house had been neither. He had declared that he would now be guided in morals by her, and had shown her the ultimate kindness in moving her from the attic to the family rooms. She had tried not to think of Tom and Mansfield being divinely linked, but when he had fallen ill Mansfield and the family had suffered, with his recovery came the recovery of Mansfield, not the same as before, but changed and wiser with experience and resolved and stronger than before. They could be alone together without her losing her train of thought, or worried that he would see something she sought to hide, she had nothing to hide from Tom.

She thought about it, realizing that her love before had been of youth and knowing greater than a few kind words and some interest taken that none other had thought to show or give. It was a first and childish love, one of folly and error, it had provided a strength against the first attack of vanity, but had cracked when shown against the harsh light desire. She had thought deeply when alone and found solace in that her heart was not broken beyond mend and that when she would love again it would be with wisdom not impulse. When Tom took her arm and wrapped it around his she smiled at him. He suggested a short walk outside under the stars. She marveled at the clear bright sky, pointed out particular constellations to her cousin whom she found was no stranger to the sky himself. There was joy in this. They were away from the house and the reach of candles when Tom stopped, his breath caught when he looked at Fanny and saw how happy she looked, how beautiful in starlight she was. He leaned into her and before he thought to ask his lips were on hers, it was brief and he spoke her name with his first breath. He asked her to walk with him always under the starlight. To be with him always at Mansfield Park, to raise the next Miss Bertrams better than the last, to be his and only his for the rest of time. It was such a sentiment she had never expected to hear Tom express to anyone, let alone herself, despite her recent hope. She smiled and tears shone on her cheeks, she declared that nothing would make her happier and only hoped that her uncle could allow it. Tom laughed and held her and because his reckless ways would never be completely gone he kissed her again, longer and deeper and declared that no uncle could prevent their happiness.

Sir Thomas had hoped for a longer engagement for Fanny's sake but Tom wouldn't hear of it and within two months he had the pleasure of seeing his youngest preside over the ceremony to join Tom and Fanny together forever. It was a small affair not far enough away from the recent past to allow for a larger gathering, but Tom had friends aplenty and Julia and her husband arrived. And to Fanny's great pleasure her brother William had gotten leave to stand for her. A peaceful affair in general with only Edmund leaving early, stating some urgent matter at Thornton Lacey that he couldn't be spared from. Tom decided they would wait for warmer weather for their honeymoon to the sea, he decided he had had enough of city life for sometime and Fanny had expressed a rare desire to see Lyme, no doubt brought on by her brother, it was enough for Tom though.

The family soon got used to the young lovers and the open happiness and joy within the house again. Mansfield was soon home to country balls again, with Mrs. Bertram often leading the dance with her husband, the two of them later being found together alone away from everyone else. There was no doubt of love between them, making a happy tale for the name Bertram once again in the city.

When two years later Fanny brought Susan into the city it was with serenity and knowledge and a great happiness to again be doing for her sister an improvement. Tom taking a place in Parliament kept them in the city, and when they walked together into Halls and Houses it was remarked on the change in the scandalous Mr. Bertram and how it must have been the work of the woman who a certain Mr. H.C. had been rumored to court. Fanny and Tom thought of none of these things, not wanting for friends equal to their own happiness and able to be home in the country at their own discretion. One could give a pass to "Cousins in love" for it was a love born of personal loss and inner strength, for goodness and rightness, and lasting as long as they were known.

~Fin~

More A/N: Hope you liked it, and if it seems rushed at the end it is. All Austen stories seem rushed at the end, so instead of dragging anything out you just wrap it all up in a pretty bow and pass it off. This story was much longer than I intended it to be anyways, and I was tired of writing it, so that's exactly what I did. Leave a comment or review, let me know if you like the couple, I got one more in me, so if you liked this look for it in the new year.


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